The Time That My Teddy Bear Talked

 

I know it probably sounds weird that a seventh grader like me has a teddy bear but hear me out. If you experienced what I have, then you would sleep with your teddy bear too.

Me, Fluff, and Professor Sparkles have been together for a long time. I got Professor Sparkles when my friend Debra gave me him for my birthday in fourth grade. I named him that because he’s one of those teddy bears that are covered with sequins that flip, so he changes from pink to silver. I got Fluff in second grade, when I went to an arcade with my grandfather. I loved both of them. I slept with Professor Sparkles and Fluff for a long time. But as I grew older, it became harder to sleep with stuffed animals. Not because I was embarrassed to still be sleeping with stuffed animals in sixth grade, but because whenever I did, I would find them on the floor when I woke up. Eventually, they both got put away. Dum-dum-duuum. Wow, sounds like Toy Story. Anyway, not to long ago, my mom was cleaning out the closet and found Professor Sparkles and Fluff in a box of stuffed animals, and I claimed them immediately. My problems with them falling off the bed were not fixed, but who cares? I’d put the next to the wall, so they wouldn’t fall. But things just got weirder from there. Each night, I’d still wake up with one or both of them off the bed with the strangest stuff lying next to them. Once they were lying next to my pencils, another time Fluff was buried under my notebooks. The next morning, Professor Sparkles looked like someone had tied one of my pairs of tights into a noose and strangled him. The weirdest (and creepiest) one was the time a woke up and they both had tears on their stomachs. Luckily, I’m an accomplished sewer, and stitched them both up. That was when I decided that I was going to figure out what was going on with my stuffed animals, because I would never do something like that, even in my sleep. I mean, what would I rip them with anyway? So that night, I planned a stakeout.

That night, I put on my Star Wars T-shirt, placed Professor Sparkles and Fluff next to my pillow, slipped under my covers, closed my eyes, and waited. And waited. And waited. It was almost 11:30 when I dozed off. And that’s when I felt something move.

I admit, I absolutely lost it. I shrieked like a terrified Israeli, which I guess I was, but that’s besides the point. It was a total miracle that I didn’t wake everyone within the next three blocks. Whatever was crawling all over me froze.

“Now see what you’ve done.” A squeaky voice whispered.

“Me?” answered another voice. “You tackled me!”

“You pushed me first! Why didn’t you wait till we were off the bed?”

“I couldn’t wait!”

“Who-who’s there?” I whispered. “Who are you?” The fighting stopped, and there was silence.

“How about you open your eyes and see for yourself?” said the Squeaky voice.

“What?” exclaimed the other. “Are you crazy? She’s not meant to know about us!”

“Well, she might as well, she’s already heard us.” I opened my eyes before the bickering could continue and stuffed my face in my pillow before I could scream again. Fluff chuckled.

“It’s all right, we won’t hurt you.” Said Professor Sparkles. “Right Fluff?”

“Darn right.” Answered the fluffy pink bear. It was very strange to hear a fluffy pink bear with a squeaky voice say, “Darn right.” Once I overcame my shock, I took my face out of the pillow.

“I feel like you to owe me an explanation.” I said to my two teddy bears.

“What for?”

“Yeah, I didn’t do anything.”

“Not true, you pushed me.”

“Oh, but you’re a perfect angel.”

“No, I’m a perfect teddy bear.”

“I’m a better teddy bear than you!”

“Enough!” I whisper-shouted. “I want to know why I wake every night to find you on the floor like you’ve been trying to bludgeon each other to death!” Fluff giggled.

“Okay, so it started like this.” began Professor Sparkles.

“We used to be your beloved teddy bears. You would play with us all the time. We would have tea parties, we would make pillow forts, we would play library, you would bring us to school every pajama day, we would go bungee jumping.” For a moment I remembered how fun bungee jumping used to be. I would tie a string around Fluff and Professor Sparkles and hang them off the railing of the stairs. They would bounce, and jump, and spin, and get all tangled up. It was so fun.

“In the cold winters, you would cuddle with us.” Continued Professor Sparkles. “You would sleep with us every single night, under the warm blankets. You would place us next to your pillow. Every night, Fluff and I would sleep next to you, knowing that you loved us, no matter how many times we were knocked off the bed, you would always put us back next to your pillow, and we would never be forgotten. And then one day… we were forgotten.” This is when Fluff chimed in.
“I remember the day we were put in The Box.” Fluff said. “We’d been knocked off the bed like always, and we were waiting for you to put us back up on the bed. But that day, you were rushing to get to school, and you forgot to put us back on the bed.”

Wow, this really is starting to sound like Toy Story. Anyway…

“Mom came in.” said Fluff. “She saw us on the floor and stuck us in The Box. We were stuck in there for the rest of sixth grade.”

“We missed the sixth-grade sleepaway trip.” Sniffed Professor Sparkles.

“A few weeks ago, you found us in The Box and reclaimed us.” Continued Fluff. “We were overjoyed to have been rescued from the deep dark of The Box. We awaited the time when you would come home from school and play with us, and we would have tea parties and pillow forts and bungee jumping. But it never came. You would sleep with us at night, but you never played with us anymore.”

“Not only were we sad, and lonely, and disappointed, we were BEYOND bored.”

“So, we took up a hobby.”

“A pastime.”

“An interest.”

“A profession.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” I asked exasperatedly.

“Right.” Said Fluff. “Enough synonyms. We took up…”

“Drumroll please.” Interrupted Professor Sparkles. Both bears patted there little paws on my chest, making there own soft drumroll.

“Anyway.” Continued Fluff. “We took up…” He paused for affect.

“Wrestling!” As if to clarify the fact, they both jumped of the bed and started beaning each other on the heads with my black flip flops with the snarling cats on them.

“It’s really fun!” said Professor Sparkles, just as Fluff struck him so hard with his flip flop I winced, but Professor Sparkles just shook his head as if he was clearing water from his ears and charged into battle. I guess that’s one of the perks of being made of polyester and stuffing.

Meanwhile, this wrestling match was wrecking my room. I knew I wasn’t as much as much of a slob as mom claimed I was. Anyway, I needed to think of a solution before mom came in in the morning and saw the mess. That’s when a brilliant idea struck me. Almost literally, because at that moment Professor Sparkles had picked up Fluff and hurled him across the room, and across the room happened to be my face.

“Enough!” I whisper shouted for the second time that night. My two stuffed pink bears were so into their battle that they paid me no heed, so I picked them up and held them in the air. When they stopped wriggling, squirming, and swinging at each other with my flip flops, I told them my great idea.

“You guys can wrestle on the rolling bed.” I got out of bed and rolled out the second bed. “You guys can battle on this.” I said. “I’ll roll it out each night and you can wrestle to your hearts content without disturbing anyone.” I narrowed my eyes.

“And from now on, I will choose what weapons you use.”

So that’s how it is. Every night, they wrestle on the rolling bed, and inform me on the winner in the morning, usually followed by boasting, singing, victory dances, and extra hugs for the winner. Every night I roll out the bed and provide them with weapons, which can range from empty soda bottles, to fuzzy dice nunchakus, to plastic knife swords. I’ve promised to bring them to the next pajama party and that they would come on the seventh-grade overnight trip, and that maybe one day I would take them bungee jumping.

Soooooo….

What is the moral of this story?

Answer number one: There is always a semi-logical explanation to weird happenings.

Answer number two: Even sweet little teddy bears like a little violence.

Answer number three: Never EVER disrespect your toys. Who knows what kind of abilities they might pick up out of boredom.  

Here's a picture of Professor Sparkles (right) and Fluff, (left), the two pink bears this story is based off of. In the picture, they're holding the pair of flip flops mentioned in the story.