Dialogue Between Silverware

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Spoon: Dinner sure was rough today. Tomato soup, roast potatoes, and roast beef…

Knife: Why are you complaining? You have the easiest job out of all of us!

Spoon: Easy? Easy? Being plunged into scalding hot soup, over and over, is EASY?

Knife: Yeah. Easy. You know what it’s like to be stuck into a piece of meat, and then sawed back and forth? It’s sickening.

Fork: Sickening? You know nothing of sickening. Stabbing meat and potatoes and being shoved into a small, cramped, wet, cave like mouth and feeling potatoes being bitten off your prongs, THAT’S sickening.

Spoon: Well a least for you, the food isn’t being slurped loudly out of you.

Fork: Oh, if only slurping was the worst of my problems. A little drop of soap, a little scrub; you’re all clean! For me, food gets stuck between my pongs, and require serious scrubbing to be cleaned.

Knife: Oh yeah? Well for me, food gets stuck in the little ridge things on my blade. That requires serious scrubbing.

Spoon: You call yourself a blade? You’re barely sharp enough to cut a boiled carrot.

Knife: *Gasps* How dare-

Fork: That’s rich coming from a utensil as dull as you.

Spoon: ARE YOU CALLING ME-

Fork: YES!

Knife: CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGE!

Later that day.

Mom: Why is the silverware drawer always messy?




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