Harry Potter and the Infinity Stones

 

Please Note: I just want to make it very clear, I cannot take full credit for the following post. I based this off of a meme I saw, enclosed below. Thank you and please enjoy. 

Harry walked through the fire, bracing himself for whatever defenses might be protecting the Sorcerer’s Stone. He walks into a chamber empty except for the Mirror of Erised, and a large, looming figure.

Harry: Hagrid? Is that you? What happened to your hair? Did you shave?

The figure steps out of the shadows. It is not Hagrid. It is a large man with blue skin, and a golden gauntlet with five colorful stones. There is a groove on the gauntlet, meant for another stone.

Harry: Oh. You’re not Hagrid. Or Snape. Who are you? And what do you want with the Sorcerer’s Stone?
Figure: I am Thanos, the Mad Titan. I am inevitable.

Thanos snaps. The chamber trembles, but nothing.

Thanos: Dang it. I was hoping it would work without the Reality Stone.

Harry: What? Who are you? What do you want with the Sorcerer’s Stone? Do you work with Snape?

Thanos: Snape? Oh I think that was the guy I vaporized. He wouldn’t tell me how to find the Stone. Kept shrieking something about his master. I dunno. He was annoying me so I vaporized him.

Thanos points to a purple turban lying on the floor.

Harry: You vaporized Snape?

Pause

Harry: Wow, this is great! Thanks a lot! I was wondering how I’d kill him when I stopped him but you’ve solved that problem for me.

Thanos: Huh. Well, your welcome. Now, have you by any chance seen a red stone? Gives the user magical powers?

Harry: Oh, the Sorcerer’s Stone? Yeah, its around here somewhere. Wait, why do you want it?

Thanos: I… I…

Swallows .

Thanos: I’m an… Environmentalist. Yeah. That’s it. I’m looking for a solution to overpopulation. Yup.  

Harry: Wow! That’s wonderful! I’m sure that Professor Dumbledore would agree that I should totally help you.

Glances around.

Harry: Hey! That’s the Mirror of Erised! It shows you your hearts greatest desire! Maybe, if you really want to find the Stone, in order to solve overpopulation, then it would show you where the Stone is!

Thanos: Ah, okay, I’ll give it a go!

Looks in the Mirror of Erised.

Thanos: Hmm. All I see is myself as half of the worlds population crumbles to dust.

Harry: Why in Merlin’s Beard would it show you that?

Thanos: I… I don’t know. It’s probably broken.

Harry: Let me try.

Stands in front of Mirror of Erised.

Harry: Oh… Ok. I see… Its me… And… Oh! Oh! The Stone! Its in my pocket!

Reaches into a pocket and pulls out a ruby colored stone the size of a plum.

Thanos: Uhh… Is that it? Its kinda big… I don’t think I can fit it into my Infinity Gauntlet.

Harry: Yup! This is the Sorcerer’s Stone! It can turn lead into gold and create Elixir of Life!

Thanos: Wait… This isn’t the Reality Stone?

Harry: Uh… Whats that?

Thanos: It’s what it sounds like, an Infinity Stone that gives you complete control over reality. But if the Reality Stone isn’t here, where could it be…?

Harry: So these Infinity Stones… Do you collect them? Are you a Collector?

Thanos: Collector…

Gasps.

Thanos: The Collector! How did I not think of it earlier? He probably has it? I mean, come on, he collects things!

Turns to Harry.

Thanos: Thanks a lot. Maybe I’ll even spare you when I murder 50% of the Universe’s population. Bye.

With a snap, he disappears.

Harry: Wow, what a nice guy.

Harry:

Harry:

Harry:

Harry: Wait what?