Right Hand Man: The Battle of Hogwarts

 

To the tune and beat of Right Hand Man-From 

Hamilton, by Lin-Manuel Miranda

Harry:

As an orphan in the muggle world

I wished for something more.

I thought that I was poor,

I thought there was no way for me to

Rise Up.

Didn’t know my story,

didn’t know my parents died

on the battlefield in glory so

Rise Up.

I will fight for this land,

but there’s only one woman

who can give us the command to

Rise Up.

Understand, now is the time to

Rise Up,

Rise Up.

Harry: Here she comes!

Painting: Here comes the Headmistress!

Students: Rise Up!

Students: Here comes the Headmistress!

Painting: The moment you’ve been waiting for!

Students: Here comes the Headmistress!

Painting: Pride of Hogwarts!

Students: Here comes the Headmistress!

Painting: IT’S MCGONAGALL!

 

McGonagall (With heavy Scottish accent):

We are out armed!

Students: What?!

McGonagall: Outmanned!

Students: What?!

McGonagall.: Outnumbered, out planned.

We’ve got to make an all out stand.

And I have no need for a Right-Hand Man. (Harry: Wait what?)

 

McGonagall:

Can I be real a second?

For just a millisecond?

Lay out the facts and be real for just a little second?

This is a high school, not an army with a general,

I’m an Animagus and I teach magic, but in general,

Nuff said,

We’ve got a bunch of people, mostly teens,

Some of their friends, relatives and the Order of the Phoenix,

But, the elephant is in the room.

The truth is in your face when you hear Voldy’s voice go BOOM!

Every hope of success is fleeting,

But I will keep leading

Until the Death Eaters start retreating.

Lots of people are bleeding

As Voldy takes the woods,

knight takes rook but look,

We are out armed! (What?!)

Outmanned! (What?!)

Outnumbered, out planned.

We’ve got to make an all out stand.

And I have no need for a Right Hand Man. (Harry: Unfair.)

 

Student: INCOMIIIIIIIIIING!!!!!!

 

Harry: I’ve been interrogating

Paranormal entities.

Destroyed the diadem

And now all that’s left is Nagini.

I took a look at the memory

Snape has given me.

Now that I know what to do,

Yo, let’s go kill Voldy.

McGonagall:

BOOM go the cannons,

watch the blood and the bricks spray.

And BOOM go the cannons,

Giant spiders join the fray.

BOOM, we just lost another man,

BOOM, very few still stand,

BOOM, my arms feel like lead…

Wait a minute, HARRY’S DEAD????

 

Never thought that evil could

Ever triumph over good.

Voldy’s laughing as he strolls

triumphantly out of the woods.

This close to giving up,

I may or may have not lost it

And screamed in the face

of this mass corruption.

 

Is this the end of the Battle of Hogwarts?

We lose, and all die broken hearted?

But then Neville Longbottom steps forward.

And I realize we’ve just gotten started.

 

Neville: I am not throwing away My Shot

I am not throwing away My Shot.

Students: We are just like our country,

We’re young, scrappy, and hungry.

Neville: I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!

Students: We are out armed, outmanned!

McGonagall: The hat burns on Neville’s head,

Then there’s a hiss of steel, and BOOM, Nagini’s dead!

Ok what else?

Students: The battle commences!

McGonagall: We’re shooting curses and hexes,

Brushing up on our defenses!

McGonagall: And then it turns out that Harry never died,

He’s still alive,

Mastering the element of surprise.

 

He and Voldy start to duel,

Sparks are flying round the room,

Sparks of green and gold and red…

Expelliarmus! VOLDY’S DEAD!  

 

Student: Here comes the Headmistress!

Neville: Rise Up!

Students: Here comes the Headmistress!

Neville: Rise Up!

Students: HERE COME’S THE HEADMISTRESS!

Everyone: RISE UP, RISE UP!

Neville: And her Right-Hand Man!

Harry: Wait what about me?????

Students: BOOOOOOM!