Medieval Tales Volume #1-The Vial of Diamonds

 

“We are trees, simply trees, of no real importance!”

The shouts echoed through the rolling grassy hills.

“Just trees, simply trees, of no real importance whatsoever!”

“Winston! Shut up!” Watson hissed at his partner. “This mission is supposed to be a secret, and you’re revealing our position to every living creature in the country and beyond!”

“But Watson, if I don’t tell them, then how are people going to know that we’re tree’s and not two palace guards on a top-secret mission from King Bobby Joe to pick up a priceless and irreplaceable vial of diamonds from a shady merchant named Steve by the river at sundown?”

Watson whacked Winston on the head with the branches of his tree costume. “Our costumes you idiot! Our costumes!” He whacked Winston again. “Quick! Someone might have heard you! We have to hurry, before the mission is compromised!”

The two palace guards hobbled over the crest of the next hill, struggling to move quickly in their unwieldy tree costumes.

.     .     .    

Several hours later, Winston and Watson could see the rendezvous point. At the bottom of the hill they stood on, they could see a shady looking man, glancing suspiciously over his shoulder every few seconds.

“Hey look! It’s Steve!” Winston started waving his tree-branch-covered arms over his head to get the merchants attention. “Hey Steve! Over h—”

Before he could finish, Watson pushed Winston impatiently and he tumbled, rolling down the hill and landing in a heap at the merchant’s feet.

Winston popped right back up with a smile. “Hi Steve!”

The Merchant sniffed indignantly. “My name is Stefan.”

“Ignore him.” Said Watson, coming up behind him. “We’re here for the package.”

Stephan’s eyes narrowed. “The money first.”

“Hmph. Fine.” Watson elbowed his partner. “Give him the money, Winston.”

“Okay!” Winston rummaged in the pockets of his tree costume, nearly thwacking Watson and Stefan with his branches multiple times before producing a tiny leather pouch. “Here it is!”

Stephan eyed the pouch unsurely. “Is that… Everything?”

Watson sighed. “Behold, the entire contents of King Bobby Joe’s Royal Treasury.”

Stephan pulled the drawstrings of the leather pouch and looked inside. “There are exactly five golden coins in here.”

“We’re going through an economic crisis!” supplied Winston cheerfully. “Watson and I haven’t been paid in months! Isn’t it great?” Watson groaned and pressed his fingers to his temples like he was experiencing a particularly painful migraine.

“Are you guys… Okay??” asked Stefan hesitantly, like he didn’t know what to make of the situation.

“Do we look okay?!” retorted Watson.

Stephan glanced back and forth between the two guards, his expression a mix of pity, bewilderment, and utter loss of what to say.

“Well… Uh… Here’s the package.” He shoved the package into Winston’s hands and tucked the leather pouch of money into his cloak. “Um… Good luck?” He turned and began walking as fast as he could in the other direction, looking over his shoulder every now and then to look back at the two guards.

“Bye Steve!” called Winston after him, waving. “It was nice meeting you!”

“My name is STEFAN!” the merchant yelled before disappearing over the hill and out of sight.

.    .    .

When Winston and Watson arrived back at King Bobby Joe’s castle, they were immediately brought before him to present the object of their mission: The priceless vial of diamond.

King Bobby Joe reclined on his throne, wearing his fluffy royal bathrobe and bunny slippers and eating an enormous breakfast, while Watson and Winston stood before him, trying to look as dignified as one possibly can while dressed as a tree.

“Your Majesty,” Watson struggled to bow in his tree costume. “We have succeeded in obtaining the vial of diamonds.”

King Bobby Joe bobbed in his throne and clapped giddily. “Ooooohhhh! Bring them forward!”

“Okay!” Winston rushed forward, glass vial in hand, eager to present it to King Bobby Joe… And promptly tripped on the branches of his tree costume.

The vial flew through the air, soaring, turning, tumbling seemingly in slow motion before crashing to the floor and shattering into a million pieces.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” screamed Watson in anguish.

“My diamonds!” cried King Bobby Joe. “What have you done to my diamonds?!”

“I don’t think so, Your Majesty.” The Butler stepped forward, crouched to the floor, and picked up a diamond that had broken in two. “These are not diamonds. These are made of glass.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Watson screamed again, collapsing to his knees. “WE WORKED SO HARD TO GET THEEEEEEEM!”

“Steve… lied to us?” For the first time, maybe ever, Winston no longer looked cheerful. His bottom lip quivered like he was going to cry. “But… But he seemed so nice!” He burst into tears, and The Butler came over to pat him sympathetically on the back.

“I bet his name wasn’t even actually Steve.” Winston sniffed.

“It wasn’t.” Watson muttered bitterly.

The End